Today I experienced my very first Mother’s Day as a mother. I had some time during the day to reflect on how I was feeling this time last year when we were expecting our very first child. Tuks and I imagined what our baby would be like, who he would look like, how great life would be with me at home each day. All the mistakes we saw ” other parents” making, but of course we wouldn’t make ourselves, and how perfectly perfect our lives would be once our baby arrived.
Of course I was delusional. It was difficult to accurately imagine what life would be like as a parent. So, in honor of my first Mother’s Day I have a list of 5 things I thought I would NEVER do as a mum, but have found myself doing anyway.
1.I will NEVER feed Franklin baby food from a jar: I list this one first because it went out the window about two weeks after Franklin started on 3 solid feeds a day. Like all mum’s I wanted to know the source and exact ingredients that were going into my baby’s food which is why I prefer to cook his food myself. However, it sometimes takes us an hour just to get out of the house and once I do I have thousands of errands to run. Factor in the time it takes to get him in and out of his car seat and all of a sudden it’s lunch time! By the time you get home, drag him in, unload the car and start heating up the organic meal you froze last Sunday we are both in complete ” Hangry” mode. That’s when I will reach for the baby food in a jar and I do not feel guilty about it. Franklin hasn’t grown an extra toe or third nipple yet so I think i’m safe.
2. I will NEVER use my baby as an excuse: It used to annoy me when parents did this, you could totally tell when they were faking it. But now I am one of those parents. Having a baby is in fact, the greatest excuse ever invented to get out of doing things you don’t want to do- and i’m going to milk it as long as possible!
3. I will not be late just because I have a child: One of my biggest pet peeves is people who are always late. My dad taught me that one of the ways we show respect for other’s is by valuing their time, so if I commit to something I do my best to get there on time. I didn’t see any reason having a baby would change this. That was, until the day I had a VERY important meeting to attend in Mt Wellington, I arrived early with Franklin and then he did a massive poo-nami all over his car seat. Of course I forgot to pack and extra pair of pants in my nappy bag so not only was I late but I had my son sit on my lap in his nappy during the entire meeting.
4. I will NEVER use the TV as a babysitter: Tuks and I watch very little television so It seemed obvious that I would not let Franklin watch it either. That was until I stumbled upon the magic of the 30 minute cartoon. Daluwyn sometimes watches cartoons before Daycare and when Franklin was very little he would turn his head to see where all the noise was coming from. I don’t use it every day but if it gives me a few minutes to pee and take a shower than I’m all for it.
5. I will NEVER leave the house with my baby looking ” dirty”: While I was pregnant I was hyper aware of babies who had snotty noses and clothes with massive stains all over them. I swore that I would never allow Franklin to be labelled the snotty kid. Well, just last week I saw that Franklin had a scratch on his nose and wondered where he got it. The following morning as I was giving him a bath I realized that scratch was just FOOD that was stuck to his face.
I’m sure i’ve broken more than 5 rules I set for myself but I think it’s obvious that I didn’t really know what I was getting myself into. Being a mum is pretty damn hard work and it’s impossible to be perfect. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.
Thankfully I think we live in a time when women can openly agree that there is no such thing as the perfect mum. As long as we are all doing our best, and our children know we love them then I think that’s enough.
Happy Mother’s Day to all.